Dear Rich Birdsall:
I went to a holiday party for singles last week and was stunned when I saw my co-worker’s husband there. He wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. The week before, my coworker and her husband were the happiest couple at our office Christmas party. Should I say something to her or not? She is about to get promoted and will become my boss after the first of the year. We are close friends and I don’t know what to do. There are personal and professional ramifications here! AAAAHH! Help!
-An Upset Friend
Well, Upset Friend.
Before I open my mouth here I want to say that I am a male and I don’t think like you do. So my advice would be to stay out of the drama. You don’t wanna appear like a gossip queen to your prospective new boss. See there’s a few things that could be going on here.
1.Maybe their marriage has been in the gutter for quite some time and they have gone their separate ways. She just doesn’t want to make it public or start a rumor mill. So she doesn’t speak of it to ANYONE.
2. I don’t know what he does for a living. He may be there for networking and she knows he’s there. Can’t try to make business contacts on the sly at a singles party with a wedding ring on.
3. Maybe your friend has an alternate lifestyle she keeps to herself. You don’t want to pry INTO THAT do you?
The one thing about cheating is… it ALWAYS comes out in the wash. If he is being a cheating dog, she will find out in time. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to be pulled into the drama. There’s always a risk of losing a friendship in the midst of a messy divorce. I was put in your situation many years ago. My buddy was being a dirty cheating dawg and I said nothing to his wife. She came to me after she found out and said “You knew, why didn’t you say anything?” I simply said your personal life is none of my business. You two are great friends to me and I hope it remains that way, but I have no business getting into who you two are involved with extra-maritally. She thought about it, and said she saw my point.
They both are still good friends. Obviously use your own good judgement as you know more about the people involved than I do.
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